Don't Under estimate will power

So here is months later since my last post, but I am proud to say that I have stuck with it and it has certainly paid off thus far.  It is a slow process and yes I would like to get down to my goal and sometimes feel impatient, but I know that this is the first time in my life I have lost weight in a healthy way.  I also believe that this time it will stay off.

My weight now is 141 pounds.  That may not seem that great, but considering that in the
At six months I have lost around 25 pounds, that is good.  Since 4 years ago I have lost a little over 45 pounds.  That is huge for someone as short as me.

The biggest problem I encountered is after all the hard work getting it off, I went into my closet recently and had nothing that fitted.  Everything swallowed me.  Now that felt good, but it was a real dilemma as I didn't have the money to go buy a new wardrobe.  Thank God for a friend of mine that had lost weight and then gained back and was willing to give me anything that fit.  I truly lucked out as everything fit, although I also had to buy new underwear and bras.

The thing I think I would have done though, would have even shop at a thrift store until I reached my goals weight.  Don't know about everyone else, but I certainly couldn't afford to buy new clothing and then lose more weight.  Better to buy something inexpensive until you reach the goal weight.  But still and all nice to have something new to show off the new figure.  Maybe a new idem per month that has give in it so if you lose more, it will still work.

So as of today I have 6 pounds left to go to reach my goal.  Ideally 10, but if I lose 5 and not another pound, I will be extremely happy.  Better yet, I have learned had to eat healthier and feel so much better for it.  Can't under estimate will power.  When one puts their mind to it, anything can be done.  In my case, finally have dropped that weight that was making me feel old and tired.  Loving the new me.

Downside to losing weight

Actually there isn't a real down side to losing weight as you feel healthier, your joints don't hurt as much and energy increases.  Plus of course there is nothing like stepping into a smaller size and not seeing bulges, bumps and rolls of fat off the side of your waistline.  However with that said, what I notice now that I never had when I was younger is flab!!!  What the hell???  Yes flab, a sure sign of aging skin that was once filled with fat now the elasticity has disappeared.  Also the little, "bulldog" pouches on the bottom of my cheeks that I totally hate seeing.

Yes it is a hell of a note to start having a better looking body and then you notice the face is looking older than when you were fat.  Still and all, I would rather be thin.  Hum, maybe I should think about a few tucks in the not so distance future.  Once my car is paid off, that may be an option.

In the meantime, this morning I came across a box of clothing that I thought I had given to charity.  It wasn't a big box, but there was about 10 tops and 7 pairs of shorts and pants.  These were clothes that I liked and were like new but I had gotten way to fat to get into them.  Well guess what?  THEY FIT NOW!!  YAY!!  Kind of felt like I went shopping and got new things but didn't spend a dime.  That was a real treat.

All in all despite the flab and bulldog cheeks, I am happy to have lost some weight.  

The constant battle

This morning I weighed right after I got out of bed and found I am up about 3 pounds.  As usual, I know that my body responds immediately to what I eat and if I don't stick to my plan perfectly, I gain weight.  Yes over the past week, I splurged several times.  Day before yesterday I ate 2 slices of pizza and last night satisfied my craving for a cheeseburger and french fries.  Of course what else would I think would happen?  I really did not stray far from my allotted calorie intake for the day, but even still there are just some foods I cannot eat and weight will show up over night on me.  I guess I just have a sluggish metabolism and cannot do much of that, nor will I do much.  I am working too hard to get this off and there is no food worth that.

So why did I splurge several times?  It's that old comfort food BS again.  Yes my emotions have been on my sleeve for several days, feeling down in the dumps, missing Myrtle Beach, missing my friends, not feeling very happy this week so what happened?  I ate.

Well this morning, I am going to get back on track because I want this extra baggage off of my body.  So I start again.

Now I know one thing I am not doing is getting enough water.  I really need to be drinking more water.  I know this and yet I find it hard to do.  Well, I am going to have to really start counting them and just making sure I drink more.  Maybe I should start my day by drinking 2 glasses immediately.  As I recall I did that once when I was trying to shed some pounds and it worked well for me.  

The second thing I am not doing is moving.  I am really a person that needs to move and yet I have become a couch potato and that does not make me a happy person.  I use to be so active and for the past 10 to 15 years I have become increasingly more and more sedentary and it has effected my self esteem in a negative way.  I use to go dancing at least once a week, I use to walk the beach, I even worked out.  The one thing that is missing in a huge way is a friend to do these things with.  A partner. This I need desperately, someone to be active with.  I am not good at working out alone.  I hate sedentary!!!  It turns one into an old person far sooner than needed.

Those are the two things I must change and I am going to change both.

Yay.... 10 pounds down!

For several days I have been seeing nothing but the same weight every time I got on the scales, maybe an ounce or two going up or down, but nothing significant.  I knew that I was losing inches, which is better anyway and I have dropped sizes, but still nice to see some weight loss.

This morning I got on the scale and actually thought my scales must be broken as I have lost 10 pounds over the past two weeks.  YAY!!  I am thrilled.  Then Vito checked his weight and he also lost 10 pounds!  So proud of him for sticking with it.  We still have a ways to go, but this is good and he was really happy..... so was I.  Nothing like seeing those numbers go down.

I refuse to ever let myself get out of hand again.  Nothing taste as good as skinny feels!!!  That's a fact.

With that being said, I have now got to figure out what I am going to do with my closet of big clothes.  Some things I might can have altered, but not all of them.  I guess I am going to just have to buy a few things at a time.  Don't want to buy much until I get to my goal weight anyway.  I am going to make it to my goal sooner than I thought.

I can do this!!!  I can, I can, I can!  Don't think I will ever actually wear a bikini as I am past the age for that and now have some flab too, but it would be nice to think I could actually fit into one and not look like a cow in it.  :-)

Now for 15 more and I will be at my goal.

Healthy Treat

Two of the hardest things for many people trying to lose weight is drinking enough water, which is really necessary and not being able to satisfy one's sweet tooth.  Several days ago I discovered that I could make my own water-ices at home that is even better than the one's I have tried at Rita's and by using Truvia, they are sugar free other than the natural sugar from the fruits I use.  Also since I am using ice and a little water as my base, I am also getting water intake plus satisfying my sweet tooth.

I have even made two of them per day and getting the equivalent of two of my fruits and 2 waters.  It doesn't get any better than that!

Really you could use any fruit you wanted, but the one that I like the best is using one large lemon, the meat and juice, 8 to 10 raspberries, about 1 to 1-1/2 tablespoons of Truvia, about a 1/4 cup water and about 2 cups of ice.  Then I just frappe it on the blender until all ice has been turned into a slush.  I totally love these things and I feel like I am really getting a treat!

This morning I didn't see a drop in weight, but I haven't gained any and I believe I have lost inches though as my pants seem to be falling off of me.  I don't have a problem with that except I need to go shopping as I have run out of clothes that fit.  I am not complaining; at least I haven't run out of clothes because I am getting to big for them.  

Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels!!

Comfort Food

So we always hear the term comfort food, and yes I have fallen prey to comfort food and got fat indulging in it on and off throughout the years.  So how comforting is it when it ultimately makes me miserable.  Being fat makes me unhappy, so there goes the theory of being comforting.

I am seeing a mental health counselor along with my husband to hopefully help our relationship.  I am also going to start seeing her on a personal level to help me deal with many life long issues that have driven me to comfort foods.  

I know this for a fact; if something is so troubling that you feel like eating, you generally are not hungry and like an addict taking a pill or a hit of cocaine, you probably are not really enjoying it and just trying to drown you troubles.  I also know that it is a form of self punishment and possibly punishing those around you as you become increasingly unhealthy.  Better to look at the problem dead ahead and look at other ways to comfort yourself in a healthy way.  Maybe take a walk, meditate, turn on good music and dance a little, or just sit down and write out your blessings and reasons to be thankful.  Eating to sooth yourself is only punishing you for feeling bad in the first place and will ultimately make one feel worse.

My husband and I are both trying very hard to fix issues in our lives, together and separately as well, but getting healthy and eating right, trying to get our nutrition balanced is a good thing.  It is a first step and today is the first day of the rest of my life.  If I fall and splurge a little too much one day, I must get back on track the next day.  I know that it certainly helps when we have a partner to encourage one another.  Makes things much easier.

The above pictures are a comparison of how I looked about 5 years ago and how I look today.  The top picture with Paddy the cat was at my sister's house in Albuquerque years ago.  I was very unhappy at the time and definitely indulged in a lot of food to dull my senses.  All it resulted in was me feeling disgust for myself and embarrassed for anyone to see me.  I am still far from where I need to be or want to be, but I am definitely on the right track and no longer feel self conscious of my size and I know I am trying to be the best that I can.

I forgive myself for abusing my body like that and just going to try to be aware that food is NEVER to be used for comfort, as all it will do in the long run is make me very uncomfortable.  I pray God helps me be the best I can be.

"Plateau"

So I am feeling pretty good about the weight I have lost and definitely looking better, but now I am stuck and can't seem to drop any more over the past couple of weeks.  Yes I have hit a plateau.  Now I am also trying to help Vito lose weight and he is doing good, but if I were doing this alone, I would certainly fast to get me started again.  That always seems to work for me, but I really feel stuck right now.

Another thing I know that I am not doing that I need really badly is exercise.  I really hate to exercise alone.  I do good if I have a buddy, but doing it alone, I never stick with it.  I wish Vito would opt to do something physically active.  It would certainly benefit us both.  

In the meantime, I will do good not to gain any back.  With a little luck, I might actually start to lose again.